And now a miracle occurs

Sat 10 September 2005 by Kevin van Haaren

There is an episode of South Park where the Underpants Gnomes explain business to the boys. The Gnomes have a business plan that consists of 3 steps:

Step 1 – Collect Underpants
Step 2 – ???
Step 3 – PROFIT!

Unfortunately nobody knows exactly what step 2 is, only that it leads to profit, and that it will occur.

Underpants Gnomes

Equally unfortunately the more I observe the operation of the Bush administration the more I think their planning is equally inept. Their planning for Iraq seemed to be:

  1. Defeat Army!
  2. ???
  3. Democracy!

When they got to step 2 they just kind of assumed we’d be the heroes and liberators of the populance and ignored any non neo-conservative planning that had been done, and the neo-conservatives had done none of their own planning other than protecting the oil ministry. So while the military stood around with its thumb up its butt (not the military’s fault, they aren’t supposed to do anything without orders) the looters take over and all the good will and momentum we had build up faded away.

The plan for disaster recovery seems to be:
1. Catastrophe!
2. ???
3. Medals for everyone!

Again, no real plan after the very first initial stages. Mostly just standing around waiting.

I’m not sure why they are so bad at this. Sometimes I think they’ve watched too many after school specials where, at the last minute, something miraculous occurs and everything turns out ok in an hour.

Other times I think they’ve got too much religion. A little praryer and everything will turn out ok. I guess they’ve forgotten that “God helps those that help themselves.” We’ve got to exert some effort, it’s not like prayer takes anything away from physical exertions.

Then I get totally cynical. FEMA seems to be doing a pretty good job elsewhere, New Orleans is a democratic strong hold in Louisana, all of Bush’s appointments are based on political favors, not ability, maybe this is how politicalized disaster recovery works — your “friends” get help, your “enemies” don’t. I don’t really belive this, but to be honest nothing freaking surprises me about the Bush administration anymore.